What is how long should i give him space?


Giving someone "space" is highly dependent on the individual, the relationship, and the situation. There's no one-size-fits-all answer. Here's a breakdown:

  • Initial Cooling Off Period: A few days (2-3) is often a good starting point to allow strong emotions to subside. This is especially important after an argument. It gives both of you a chance to process things individually.

  • Assessing the Situation: After the initial period, consider the underlying reason for needing space. Is it stress, a disagreement, personal issues, or simply needing alone time? The longer the "space" needed depends on the root cause.

  • Communication is Key: The best approach is to communicate with him about how long he anticipates needing space and the reasons behind it. A simple, "I need a little space to sort things out, and I'll reach out in a few days" is better than silence. If he cannot directly give an exact time, asking "Is it days? Weeks? Months?" can help determine the severity of the space needed. This will help in deciding when and how to reapproach.

  • Respect His Needs: Whatever timeframe he requests (or you decide on together), be sure to honor that commitment. Contacting him before agreed can be seen as disrespectful.

  • Signs He Needs More Time: Even if you've waited the initially agreed-upon time, observe his behavior when you reach out. Is he still distant? Does he seem overwhelmed? If so, he might still need more time.

  • Red Flags: If he avoids discussing the reasons for needing space, or the period of space stretches indefinitely (e.g. months), it might be a sign of a deeper issue within the relationship that needs to be addressed directly or it could be a sign that the relationship needs to end.

In summary:

  • Short-term (days): After an argument, or for needing time to de-stress.
  • Mid-term (weeks): For processing personal issues, needing time to think about the relationship.
  • Long-term (months+): Usually a sign of a serious underlying issue, or a desire to distance oneself from the relationship.

Here are the linked concepts.